Text

Making bacon!!!!! Fuck yea

Text

stripesdontmakeyoustraight:

stripesdontmakeyoustraight:

If you ever think you did something embarrassing just remember that I had a really hot waiter one time and i was gonna order double pepperoni pizza but I looked him dead in the eye and accidentally asked for double penetration pizza in front of my whole family

Stop reblogging my failure

(via throwbackdisneychannel)

Source: stripesdontmakeyoustraight
Text

tvspecial:

every 5 seconds a woman gives birth to a baby. stop this woman.

(via tyleroakley)

Source: whiteboyfriend
Chat
  • october 31st: SPOOOOOOKKKKKY!!!!!!!!!!! buy candy and scaaaary costumes here!!!
  • november 1st: JUST HEAR THOSE SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING RING TING TINGLING TOOOOOO
Source: oedipus-sex
Text

deathpup:

shrexything:

babyferaligator:

oomshi:

is masturbating while smoking weed called masturblazing 

no its called highjacking

guys no it’s weedwhacking

no its called dissapointing ur mother

(via joey-smith-universe)

Source: oomshi
Text

fangpants:

Why do dudes always wanna know your bra size tho, what are they gonna do, buy you bras?? Cause that would be very helpful bras cost a lot of money i would save a fortune

(via lokis-army-at-221b)

Source: fangpants
Text

butterflyspock:

before u say anythign rude or offensive just think to urself: would steve rogers say that? if the answer is no, don’t say it 

(via hsgrid)

Source: flowerbucky
Text

gummyworm320:

I swear to God, if the last episode of supernatural is called ‘carry on my wayward son’ I will lose my shit.

(via deanwithawhitetulip)

Source: gummyworm320
Text

if i ever got sentenced to house arrest i’d just laugh at the judge

(via castiels-feathery-butt)

Source: hunterandrewpence
Photo
cocoabarnes:

how fuckin’ dare you, sebastian stan: 13/∞