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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
businesscasuallabcoat
violetwolfraven

So I just had a thought

What if supernatural creatures don’t exist anymore? What if they did once, but through the years, they slowly mixed in with humans?

You can see the blood of fairies in the way a ballet dancer hovers in mid air before he or she hits the ground. You can see it in the way that middle school girl never forgets when someone makes her a promise. You can see it in how that one little boy in the kindergarten class seems more comfortable in the forest on that field trip than the others.

You can see the blood of dryads in hikers who never trip over roots. You can see it in that suburban grandmother never lets any of her garden die. You can see it in that one kid who climbs a tree faster than his friends, barely looking at the branches as he goes.

You can see the blood of naiads in the way a professional swimmer seems to command the water to help them. You can see it in how a cross country runner needs a water break more often than his teammates. You can see it in the way that one girl in your class always has a water bottle on her desk.

You can see the blood of mermaids in a surfer who can be tossed around underwater for a long time without drowning. You can see it in a teenage boy who doesn’t have to pretend to be unbothered by the pressure when he races his friends to the bottom of a swimming pool. You can see it in the little girl who wades into every stream she sees on a hike without quite knowing why.

You can see the blood of sirens in people who never have a problem with getting people to date them. You can see it in that soprano who can hit notes most of her fellows can only dream of. You can see it in the camp counselor who all the straight girls have a crush on, who can play guitar and sing better than any of the others.

You can see the blood of shapeshifters in the way an actor adjusts their personality to become their character with scary accuracy. You can see it in the subconscious, barely noticeable changes a tween girl’s eyes make to match her outfit better. You can see it in the way you always lose that one friend in a crowd if you’re not careful, because he’s just too good at blending in.

People who carry the blood of werewolves don’t change with the full moon anymore, but you can still see it in the way your best friend always knows something is wrong, though even they don’t know they’re smelling the changes in your body chemistry. You can see it in the way that one guy always seems to eat more than the reasonable amount of red meat at an all-you-can-eat buffet. You can see it in the way that one werido never has a problem when the teacher turns off the lights before a PowerPoint presentation because her eyes adjust quicker and better than yours.

The blood of supernatural creatures may have mostly faded away. But if you look closely, you can still see it.

emeraldcityoregongoddess

I feel a novel series beginning to take hold.

Source: violetwolfraven
gnarlystarships
beachdeath

  • jeff bezos didn’t sign a pre-nup
  • and cheated on his wife of 25 years with a married woman
  • and washington state is a community property state, meaning that all assets acquired during a marriage are divided equally upon divorce
  • meaning that jeff bezos has to give his wife half of his net worth
  • and he is presently worth $137 billion
  • and half of $137 billion is roughly
  • $69 billion
Source: beachdeath
shakespeareitoff
nickjonasnipples

me before work: i hate work i would honestly rather die than set foot in that building even just the idea of working makes my stomach churn FUCK working FUCK my boss FUCK the customers and mostly FUCK capitalism

me at work: honestly? this isn’t bad! i’m just doing my thing! making some money! it’s not like i would be doing anything constructive at home anyway! i love working! 

me after work:  that was the worst day of my whole entire life i wish i was dead FUCK working FUCK my boss FUCK the customers and mostly FUCK capitalism

thequantumqueer
toboldlylesbian

pick your fighter

the ‘$1000 to go to Hawaii’ bride, the ‘I bought a $99 polygraph on amazon’ lady, or the ‘why was $200 so huge’ birthday girl

marisatomay

a lot of people seem to be confused and think the hawaii bride and the polygraph lady are the same but they’re actually 2 separate people so here’s all 3 in one go

the “$1500 to go to hawaii” bride

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Ms Polygraph Test

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$200 birthday

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bask in the unfiltered nonsense of it all

toboldlylesbian

since someone mentioned this and I had forgotten, a last minute entry fighter: “Squire Sebastian” lady

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imsuchacapricorn

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New to the arena, Kristie and her surprise wedding

history-freak1

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Y'all really gonna pass up childless millennial Disney Mom?

toboldlylesbian

my FAVORITE angry facebook post of all time

allfrogsarefriends

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its true and u should say it!

Source: toboldlylesbian
cantwebeseventeen

‘Temporary’ Names

drferox

Vet clinics often have litters of kittens to raise. Either they’re too young for a shelter, too sickly, or the clinic intends to adopt them out when they’re big enough. Whatever the reason, nurses often end up raising kittens and giving them ‘temporary’ names. 

The intention of these temporary names is that if you give the kitten a stupid name, you have something to call it other than ‘the middle black male’, but because it’s a stupid name you wont get emotionally attached and end up keeping it. Again. 

Which is how some nurses end up with cats that have names like ‘Flea bus’ and ‘Trash bag’. 

drferox

Folks, I succumbed.

I ended up keeping Trash Bag.

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He’s growing fast.

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And getting into trouble

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Happy post number 2500!

zooophagous

Tell Trashbag I love him

lenacraft

We love you Trashbag

drferox

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Trash Bag chose Charmander.

crystallineaffluence

I love this

justcallmeaphrabehn

This is my cat Fork

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captainamericacrunch

that cat looks like he knows his name is fork

Source: drferox